J'suis un citron!

Feeling bad all day.

Bought Mallo Cups at Kroger because I love marshmallow and chocolate.

There’s coconut in them.

I hate coconut. :( 

My pretty white dress with navy trim bled all over itself in the wash. And mom and I don’t think it’s salvageable. 

Waaaah. I only got to wear it once. And that was for 21 hours on the way hooooome.

Weee been on the go for 13 hours now. 2.5 hours to Dublin. Whyyyy did we do a full day tour our last day?

Can someone teleport me and all my shit home?

My back and neck and shoulders hurt. But it’s somewhere between the good kinda hurt and the “this bed is lumpy” kinda hurt.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m not better friends with some of the people I know.

For example: Scott and I grew up in the same area, went to rival high schools, are both in CAAD, have the same scholarship, and the majority of our interactions (mostly on facebook) involve us being stupid. WHY ARE WE ONLY SORTA FRIENDS?

I was the most delusional I can ever remember being at about 5 this morning. I woke up (sorta) and was under the impression that there was a huge crowded line of people waiting for …. I don’t know. And someone was telling us how to fix the warped perspective in some photos.

(Keep in mind, I had woken up enough to check the time and read a text from Chris from a few hours earlier and know I was in my bed and that the bed cover was greenish blue and I was facing away from the wall and I needed to make sure to pack my jewelry because why hadn’t I already packed it?)

So after “waiting” in an unmoving line and being jostled around and wanting desperately to go back to sleep because I was getting up at 745, I realized there was a nasty smell that was keeping me up. I vaguely sniffed around (and yet didn’t move?) to figure out what it was so I could push it off the bed. Never figured it out and came to the conclusion that part of the bed/sheets just smelled nasty. 

Eventually woke up enough to break the delusion of waiting in line and rolled over to face the wall. In doing so I became FREEZING cold. Like I was almost too warm facing the other way and suddenly it felt like someone had given me a surprise ice bath. (And this happened mid-rollover.) I ended up trying to find a comfy position and also refind the warmth like that but eventually gave up because I could still smell something. 

Finally rolled all the way over and burrowed into a tiny ball somewhere around the middle of my bed. Started thinking about Legend of Korra and General Iroh II. Then suddenly it was 745 I “Tu Vuoi Fa l’Americano” was blasting me awake.

I swear it’s like I had a fever dream. But I’m pretty sure I didn’t/don’t have a fever.

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So. Leaving French today was so freaking hard. Like. Holy shit.

I didn’t imagine I’d make any super close friends here. I figured I’d make good enough friends to enjoy myself with and we’d split our ways at the end of the month+ with maybe some hugs and promises to keep in touch.

Berit was about to head the opposite way as me to go to her homestay. And I realized I may never see her again. Ever. And I said “No you can’t go yet.” She knew exactly what I had realized and we stood there completely bewildered by the fact that could be our last goodbye. 

Right when I got to the point the guys in our class could make slightly uncomfortable jokes about me and I’d be torn between smacking them and laughing. When Estefania and I started bonding over being graphic design majors. 

I may never see these people again. I know there’s always the internet and I fully intend on keeping up with them. But. I don’t remember the last time I knew that this could be a “last goodbye” and I was sad about it. 

I found people I didn’t expect to find. And just as I began to appreciate them as friends - not classmates or acquaintances - they’re gone.

Now I has a sad.